THE Autism Talk

When is the right time to talk to siblings about autism? I don't think there is a magic age, but Jacob and I discussed autism today to a small degree and I told him what I thought he could understand, in a way that I hoped he could understand. Since Jacob has been going with me some to drop off Matthew at KAP and is seeing some of the students there, I felt like I owed it to him to let him know a little about the special people he sees there. I'm just a big ole sap, but it's all I can do to talk about it with him and not tear up, but I held it together today and I think he understood what a 6 year old can understand...his bubba doesn't talk like him, walk like him, learn like him, or do lots of other things like him, but now he knows there is a reason...autism.

Aw phooey...here comes the tears again, and I'm only THINKING, not typing, about what a sweet brother Jacob is! Jacob has always understood that Bubba couldn't do some of the things that he does. But, with the innocence that only a child can have, has never really dwelt on the thought of it. One of my favorite things that I used to hear him say was the words, "When Bubba learns to talk like me". He has never limited Matthew to not learning! That's a lesson that we all should take to heart!! A couple of years ago, or maybe a little longer, Jacob drew a picture and brought it to me and said, "This is a picture of Bubba when he's going down the slide just like me." Of course, Jacob has his times when "Bubba" gets on his nerves, but I wouldn't think them to be brothers if that didn't happen. Jacob is such a big helper and I appreciate him so much!

When Jacob was only crawling, his favorite place to stay was right under Matthew's feet!!! He loved his big brother so much, and missed him terribly when Matthew started kindergarten. The summer before that was when he would stay wherever Bubba was, and when we would come home from dropping Matthew off at school, he would go to the playroom and just look for his Bubba. Just the other day, Matthew returned the favor. He and I were going somewhere without Jacob and when I put Matthew in the car, he pointed over to the empty seat beside him and looked at me...he knew his little brother was supposed to be in there with him!

I explained to Jacob today that his brother had autism, and that was why he didn't do all the things that he could do. I just felt it was time to put a name on it for him. If someone asks him about his brother, I DO NOT want him to be ashamed to say that he has autism! I also want to instill in Jacob a sense of respect, loyalty and love for all who have autism. When I told him that someone else close to him also had autism, he looked at me strange and I could tell that he had not even noticed that there was anything different between them. I just knew that his patience had been tested a few times here lately, and I felt it was time that he knew, so that maybe he could understand a little better why he does some of the things he does.

My hope is for Jacob to grow up without resentment for autism. We try so hard to keep our life typical, and I don't want Jacob to miss out on things. I want to educate him and help him to understand that he has been chosen to be a special little brother to his special big brother! I hope that the two of my boys are always close. We never know how life will go, but if nature takes it's course, Jason and I will not be here one day, and I hope with all my heart that we will have raised Jacob in a way that he will do all he can to take care of his Bubba.

Going to find some tissues now...bawling and don't know why! Yes I do...I love my boys...sweet and precious brothers!!!