Sickness and Autism

One of the hardest parts of having a child with autism, for me, is the lack of communication. One of the biggest difficulties associated with the lack of communication is the inability for the child to be able to tell you his or her wants and needs...especially those associated with the child being sick or hurt. It really goes back to a lot of instincts and mother's intuition. In my case, I've had to become aware of Matthew's behaviors and notice when those behaviors change pattern. Just most recently, I posted on my other blog that I took him to the doctor yesterday and he did indeed have an ear infection. Matthew did not come up to me and say, "Mom, my ears are hurting. I think I have an ear infection." Admit it, most 11-year-olds could easily do that. Instead, I had noticed in the past several days that Matthew had been a bit crankier than is usual and his self-injurious behaviors had increased. (I should have took him a few days ago.) Yesterday at KAP, they noted that he slapped at his ear and thought he acted as if his ear was hurting. With a reconfirmation of my original thoughts, I made him an appointment and sure enough, both ears were infected. If I had went with my first gut thought, I would have taken him last week to the doctor instead of waiting. Since someone else noticed the same thing, I decided to stop second-guessing and take him on. Our pediatrician and her staff understand our situation and that it is a guessing game with Matthew at times, but that if I feel like something is wrong, they do not hesitate to get him in and check him out. Quite honestly, I don't recall a time taking him that something was not wrong. Matthew has had trouble with ear infections from the time he was a baby, so we've gotten used to dealing with this. Knowing his history makes understanding his actions a little easier too. (As a side note, when Matthew was an infant, I didn't really notice anything until the day his ear drums would rupture. He would sleep all day long and when I would check, his ears would be draining. Talk about feeling inadequate, but there were just no signs there! He has had VERY FEW fevers in his life, and does not run one with ear infections.)

Some of the signs that are sure-fire indicators that something has gone amiss for Matthew are, him becoming more cranky and whiny than usual, his self-injurious behaviors intensifying, as well as him becoming more aggressive with me. (He's been pinching and scratching much more here lately.) But, let's think this through. You are a child who has two ears that are hurting. You don't understand why they are hurting, and you have no way to tell anyone what is bothering you. Umm yeah, I think I might pinch and scratch someone too. As much as it hurts, at least I know that something is wrong and can then take him to get him help.

I have and do worry about Matthew becoming ill and me not knowing. What if he has some serious illness and can't tell me any of the signs. It would seriously be like hunting for a needle in a hay stack! Just like the morning he broke his arm. I could tell there was something wrong from the tone of his cry, but finding the source was harder. I seriously thought he might have hurt his back from the way he fell straight down on his tailbone, but when I picked him up and saw the way his arm hung, I was pretty sure that was it. Love his heart, he hurt so bad and didn't know what to do. He was so pitiful that morning.

This is another one of those hard to deal with aspects of parenting a child with autism.