Parental Denial?

I have had the first question asked in my comments section, and I want to do my best to answer it from a view of someone who's "been there". The question is referring to parents seeing/knowing/recognizing when their children are exhibiting characteristics that are becoming of autism, and if it is fear of "the label" or some other reason that they are inactive, a lot of times, in getting help.

In my case, I will honestly claim ignorance, first and foremost, as to my thoughts of whether Matthew had autism. (As noted in my previous post.) I KNEW there was SOMETHING going on, but I didn't know what. My pediatrician and I kept an eye on Matthew's progress as an infant, and when we knew that intervention was needed, I sought it out. Of course there was a little part of me that wanted to believe that he would "out grow it" or "he was just developing at a slower pace", but it became as plain as the nose on my face that this was more of an issue than being a few months delayed. Of course, having a diagnosis for him made it all too concrete in the beginning, so I wasn't that anxious for it. Matthew was diagnosed initially with developmental delay, and that seemed a bit better to me then than having a pin-pointed diagnosis. It made it more hopeful that it was something that could be completely resolved. By the time it was first mentioned to us that Matthew was believed to have autism, at age 4, it was almost a relief to have a diagnosis that wasn't so broad. Oh gosh, don't get me wrong, those were words that I didn't want to hear, and didn't even believe at the time, but now it is easier knowing. I had a couple of friends who worked with children with autism, and they had seen the signs and thought autism from early on, but they didn't tell me so until later. It's just simply easier to spot when you are educated in disorder, but also when you're not too close (as in parent or such) to the child in question.

I am not here to place judgement on any parent. BUT, I do find myself wondering if parents of children that I have seen, have ever questioned their child's behaviors. Can they not see the warning signs that seem almost obvious to me. Do they even take their child to the pediatrician, because surely they would keep tabs on milestones and behaviors. These are questions I don't know the answers to. Perhaps they are like the person I was when Matthew was first diagnosed...unknowing. Parents sometimes see what they want to see in their children which is nothing more than typical development. I think that makes it hard for them to see the broader picture sometimes. Of course, it was easier for me than some, to see the delays that Matthew had because he does fall on the low functioning end of the spectrum. You take a child on the higher functioning end of the spectrum and it is harder to see the signs. They may talk as well as the next person, and I am here to say that children with autism are SMART!! I think because a child may excel in certain areas, parents are left to believe that there can't possibly be something more to their "odd little behaviors". For whatever the reasons, parents have to come to realize it for themselves. Until I did some reading/researching on my own, I couldn't believe that Matthew had autism. I guess my answer to the question could be summed up in two parts:

1. Parents lack knowledge and understanding of autism to see the signs for themselves.
2. They don't want anything to be "wrong" with their child, so they ignore the signs for as long as possible.

It may not make sense to you, but until a parent wants to see it, or is forced to see it from learning the signs and characteristics, they try to put it off for as long as possible. The sooner they can see and accept it though, the sooner their child can begin getting the services that he/she is entitled to!

Gosh, I hope that made sense :)