What is autism? Here are three professional definitions that relatively say the same thing in varying ways.

Wikipedia's definition - Autism is a brain disorder characterized by impaired social interaction and communication and by restricted and repetitive behaviors.

Autism Speaks - Autism is a complex neurobiological disorder that typically lasts throughout a person's lifetime. It is a group of disorders known as autism spectrum disorders (ASD)...Autism impairs a person's ability to communicate and relate with others. It is also associated with rigid routines and repetitive behaviors, such as obsessively arranging objects or following very specific routines. Symptoms can range from mild to quite severe.

Autism Society - Autism is a complex developmental disability that typically appears during the first three years of life and affects a person's ability to interact with others. Autism is defined by a certain set of behaviors and is a "spectrum disorder" that affects individuals differently and to varying degrees.

The more potent question would seem to be, what does autism mean to parents whose child has been diagnosed? I can only answer for myself, but the simplest way for me to explain it would be, a loss. The dreams and hopes that I had for Matthew's future, that every mother has for her child's future, were all dashed, but new ones eventually took their place. All the typical dreams and desires were an unknown to us at the time, and many still are today. The main question was what will his life be like? How many "normal" things will he be able to accomplish? Of course there is an overwhelming sense of guilt that sets in along with a myriad of other emotions that are difficult to discuss, but I hope to do just that in a future post. For many parents there is a process, much like that of grief, that you go through when finding out that your child will not have the type of life that you had all dreamed up. There were plenty of tears, and still are at times. It does get easier, but then something will happen to throw you back closer to the starting line again.

When I first had this big idea to post about my thoughts and experiences with the different aspects of autism, I would have never imagined it to be this hard. This is simply a subject that I could rattle on about for pages, and I want to try to divide my posts into different little experiences and parts. I sometimes feel that my thoughts are rambling, and I hope my words are not confusing. It is so easy to let my emotions take over that my words may not make sense to anyone else. Hopefully as my posts progress, my goal of helping at least one of you become more aware during this special month set aside for such purposes, will be realized. It is SO cliche, but if you have not experienced life with autism 24/7, you really could not understand. I hope that I can shed a little light on this subject that fascinates several people, and will let you see the hard, but blessed, road with plentiful rewards that we travel each day!